“And how do I ask permission to play with someone I might want to play with?” he asked the hostess this question right in front of me. My eyes dilated a little and my mouth dropped open. It took me about three seconds to realize two things: first, I probably looked a bit like a fish with my mouth hanging open, and second, he didn’t look at me when he asked, but he smirked just a tiny bit.
“You just ask.” she responded and then looked at me and smiled. I blushed instantly, something I am not really known for anymore and honestly I’m thrilled that side of me is coming back to life.
Finally he looked down at me. My first instinct was to smile and then look down quickly, instantly in the submissive mode and ready to play. But he didn’t ask. He moved on in conversation and then walked off to get a cookie from the bar.
I watched him move throughout the room. He never glanced back towards me but somehow I knew he kept an eye on me as he drifted from one group to the next. I made my way back to the kitchen, not sure what exactly I was looking for, but the magnetic pull towards him had my curiosity flaring and I needed to quench that thirst, or at least taste more of it.
I walked over to his side and just stood there for a moment, pretending to decide if I wanted to go outside or stay inside, but knowing that I was easily read and wearing my heart on my sleeve. No one here would buy my act, I’m not sure I could have been more convincing if my life depended on it. I was smitten and everyone there knew it almost as instantly as I did.
“You have lipstick on your teeth” he said to me.
I flushed a deep red. Of course I have lipstick on my teeth. I’m looking at the most beautiful man in the room so it only makes cosmic sense that I would have lipstick on my teeth. I thought to myself. I made an apology and a quick excuse to run off and get rid of the lipstick.
I went down the stairs and stood in the tiny office we had seen during the tour. I know I saw some makeup remover pads around there somewhere but my mind was far too distracted with kinky and sexy games I wanted to play with the Dom upstairs for my memory to work properly. I quickly grabbed an alcohol pad and a dryer sheet. I figured the alcohol pad would take off the lipstick, but it would burn a little and the dryer sheet would help to soothe the burn and soften my lips. I was correct on both counts.
I headed back towards the stairs and found him standing at the top waiting on me. When I entered the kitchen again he sat on a stool and looked directly at me.
“Would you like to play?” he asked, though we both already knew the answer.
I swallowed and nodded at him, incapable of speech at the moment; my head swimming with thoughts of whips, chains, leather cuffs, floggers and sex.
“Would you like to play with me?” He asked, this time specifying his intent as well. I nodded again. He smirked at me.
“What kinds of kink are you into?” As the question left his lips my mind went completely blank. I write, often and well, but in the moment, especially in front of someone so attractive, I could not piece more than two words together. “Fuck me.” is all I wanted to say back to him, but that was a bit too forward, even for me.
I stuttered a few syllables before finally swallowing again and responding.
“I like fire play but I’ve never done it. It fascinates me. I like hot wax, and pretty much all of the words associated with B.D.S.M.” I answered, finally.
That smirk of his appeared and I watched as he pulled back just a tiny bit from me. I swear I leaned in a bit. I tried to catch myself before he noticed, but the smile dancing on his lips widened and he leaned forward.
“You write erotica and you can’t come up with more than a few things you enjoy doing?” he said, his eyes twinkling in amusement.
I blushed, yet again and stuttered some poor excuse about my mind being a bit distracted. God he was beautiful. For a brief moment I wondered how I got so lucky and then quickly shot that thought process because it wasn’t going to lead me to any kind of happy ending. I am lucky because I am beautiful. I am a survivor. I go after what I want. I made it clear that this is what I wanted and he is who I wanted.
We talked a bit more about limits and concerns, areas he would need to be careful with and what safewords I preferred to use. It took of my strength not to look down at his crotch or lean in and kiss him on the spot. I tried to remember what I’d last had to eat and if I even should attempt a kiss right now but my mind was only thinking of sex and all the things that lead up to it at a party like this. Eventually I gave up and just looked down at my shoes, glancing at his crotch on the way down. I smiled, yes, he was definitely turned on and I felt my panties get a little more wet than they were moments before.
We made our way downstairs to one of the more private dungeons. My heart was already racing. It has been far too long since I had a proper scene and I could barely stop myself from visibly trembling. I counted the stairs as I went down, an old habit of mine that I use to help myself focus on the task at hand (or focus on the numbers at least).
“Let me see you.” His Dom voice came out softly, but the order was definitely there.
I shivered in happy anticipation, unable to stop myself. I kept my eyes downcast. I preferred the images of him in my head to what the reality may have been. My fears leftover from my last “dom” still lingering in the air. I frowned at my feet before dismissing that line of thinking and forcing myself to look at him again. He made a “spin” gesture and I slowly spun around in a circle for him, eyes down again. When I was facing him again he gently placed a finger or two under my chin and firmly raised my gaze to his.
“You will look at me when you speak to me.” He said sternly. I glanced down before I actually heard the words. His tone had hit my ears first and I realized just how desperately I needed this.
I smiled, knowing that this was different. It already felt different. Every other scene I have ever been in involved orders to not look at my Dom. But he wanted my eyes, wanted my attention, wanted to know that I was listening and know that he was watching my reactions. That was so different and it felt so… safe. It felt safe.
“Finally.” The word echoed through my mind and my eyes fluttered closed as I sighed a happy release of tension I didn’t even know I was holding in.
He ordered me to kneel across the spanking bench and I happily did so. I may have even skipped over to it in pure joy. My skin tingled, my heart banged against my chest, my breathing deepened and I instantly tuned into my surroundings. I listened as his footsteps came closer and I heard the practice swings he made with his whatever toy he had decided to use first. It sounded like a flogger as it cut through the air. I shivered again, excitement making its way through my body like electricity.
Thwack! Went the first strike, directly across my ass. “Oh my fucking GOD YES!” my pussy clenched as I relished in the fire that broke out along several lines across both cheeks. I inhaled deeply and braced for the next swing. He didn’t make me wait long. As he swung he asked me questions.
“Is there anywhere on your body you don’t want me to strike you?”
“No, Sir. Wait! Yes!” I cried out as he slapped the flogger across the bottom of my foot.
I had forgotten that was more sensitive than I wanted it to be. And as I remembered that pain, I remembered my right kidney. I told him of both of these limits and I struggled to remember to look at him when I spoke to him. His gaze would catch mine every single time and the reminder was clearly directed at me in it.
There were two times he stopped and made me look at him with his hand under my chin. Each time I made me wetter. Each moment reminded me of just how different he was. How much he really seemed to care. I was briefly saddened by the thought that I didn’t know what caring really was before I pushed that thought out from my head and relaxed back into the emotions flowing from him. He cared. I was safe. I can’t explain how good that feels. I think that unless you have been in a place where safety truly doesn’t exist, you cannot possibly imagine what it was like to know I was finally, completely safe during a fairly private scene.
Twice people from upstairs came through to check on me and ensure that the scene was still consensual. Twice I fell a little more in love with the private club I had stumbled upon. I could have wept in relief, but the flogger came down across my back again and every thought in my head disappeared as the fire once again sparked across my skin.
I cried out… but I cried out the word fuck. A favorite of mine.
“What did you just say?” he hissed at me the way doms in the books do when they are displeased with something the submissive just did. I almost giggled at the images of all the characters Cherise Sinclair has written instantly appeared in my mind’s eye.
I mischievously looked at him, my brat side making an appearance. Before I could respond he swatted my ass a little harder than he had yet to hit and I sucked in cold air from the room, knowing that this was one of his pet peeves.
“How was that one?” He asked, smirking at me again.
My smiled deepened as I realized that this was one of things he was also looking for. A little bratty teasing can be quite fun, when done tastefully and not over-used.
“Yellow! Sir!” I squawked back at him, playfully glaring a bit.
His lips tightened in a straight line, but turned up a bit at the corners and his eyes definitely were laughing at me.
“Good.” He responded simply.
I flashed back to a moment in the parking lot when I had spit in the grass. He had given me such a look of disgust (and maybe a little “dare you to do it again” mixed in). I tingled all over. He had mentioned that he was a Daddy Dom and I knew that cursing would NOT be allowed here, unless I wanted to up the ante.
“Cursing is unbecoming of a young lady.” he stated.
He smacked me again, equally hard.
“Repeat my words.” It was a request, not a demand, but one that should probably not be ignored.
“Little girls should not curse.” I obeyed.
“And why not?” He encouraged me to continue, daring me to stop.
“Because it’s unbecoming of young ladies.” I stated proudly.
I cursed three more times during the scene. Each time I was rewarded with harder smacks that instantly lead to me crying out yellow. Each time I did so he changed it up and kept me at yellow for a few seconds before pausing to softly rub the skin and help cool it back down.
The scene continued for what felt like both hours and mere seconds.
“Talk to me.” He would softly order, checking in on me as we went.
I released a little more tension each time he checked in. God this was so amazing. Thank fuck I decided to come tonight. Even as I write that I know I might be in trouble for it later. This is going to be one of the hardest habits for me to break… I like cursing. I love it actually, but he’s right. I live in the Bible Belt now. It’s high time I end that habit.
He fingered me and made me squirt several times throughout, rewarding me for behaving. He would walk directly in front of me and pause. I could smell the soap on his skin and mentally begged him to come closer to I could touch him. It took all of my strength to not let go of the position he had put my hands in and reach for him.
Finally, after what felt like hours of fun torture, he had me kneel in front of him. Finally he gave me his cock to suck. God, I’ve never so eagerly sucked on a cock. Never have I needed one in my mouth so badly. Never have I enjoyed the feeling of a penis on my tongue, sliding in and out. I would have shaken my head at myself for these thoughts but he gripped my hair as he fucked my face. I giggled a little because of how much I was enjoying this, which promptly lead me to gagging, and more giggling. He had to stop because I gagged a little harder than I meant to. And then I did laugh at myself and explained the laughter. He just shook his head at me in what I think may have been amazement and grabbed my hair and shoved my mouth back on his cock.
He stopped me again and asked if I wanted to go further. I held my breath as I nodded, clenching my soaked pussy as it dripped down my inner thighs to the floor below.
“Get on the medical table.” He said and turned quickly, but I caught the excitement in his eyes just before he fully turned his back towards me.
This was his favorite thing, and I found it deliciously kinky since he’s a doctor. I am not the only one with darker kinky fantasies and we’ve both revealed one of ours this evening. I smiled as I quickly positioned myself on the table. He came back from putting his toys away and entered me quickly. I was soaked and he slid all the way to the hilt. He wasted no time in absolutely banging me. I orgasmed on the spot. I had lost count long ago as to how many orgasms he had gifted me, but this one I stole.
I looked at him to see if he noticed that I had no asked for permission for that one. If he noticed, he chose to let it slip as he continued to impale me on his cock. The next orgasm built quickly. I begged to cum again and he pulled out and walked off.
“No.” he said, letting me know that yes, he did indeed know that I had stolen an orgasm.
He came back with a flogger and put my legs into the stirrups attached to the table. He fucked me again, slapping the flogger across my tits as he went. Everything felt so good. So very, very good. I begged for permission to cum, knowing that if denied I would not be able to stop myself this time, even if I wanted to. But I had nothing to worry about. He told me to count to fifteen before he allowed me to release. I obeyed, but I almost failed at the task. Somewhere around 11 he fingered my clit and I nearly came right then and there.
I came loudly and almost violently, clenching around him. He pulled out again after I finished and fingered me a bit to force out the last bit of orgasm I didn’t realize I was holding. I squirted, yet again.
When we were finished, he asked if I was okay to stand. I was not. He got me a glass of water and helped me to my feet. He held me as we walked back to the table where I had put all of my stuff. Everything was sore in a way I needed and wanted desperately. He told me to sip slowly when I started to gulp the water.
“We don’t need you getting sick” he said with a caring, fatherly tone.
“God he’s so sexy.” I thought dreamily, knowing I was in subspace. He spoke quietly and gently to me, softly holding me. My head rested above his heart and I focused on his voice and the gentle patter of his heart beat. “Finally, after care.” I thought briefly before just relaxing into his arms. I have no idea how long we stood there. Not nearly as long as I would have liked, before he said it was time to head back upstairs to rejoin the party. I couldn’t hide my disappointment very well. He laughed and told me we were hogging the scene area and needed to let others play too. I pouted at him as I followed behind him.
When we got to the stairs he stopped and had me go in front of him. The fact that he knew I was still unsteady, and cared enough to ensure my safety even up the stairs hit me. Yet again I thought about how sad it was that I did not know what true caring looked like before tonight. I’ve written about it. I’ve read about it. I’ve researched it. And yet, it completely escaped me that I didn’t actually have it in my life. I sighed at myself, unhappy with just how much bullshit I had put up with in my last relationship.
But then again, they always do say the best way to get over something, is to just get up and get back on the horse.
— Autumn Lokerson