Ménage à Trois

2016.11.03 mé·nage à trois.jpeg

His beautiful cock pumped in and out of me. His friend, Mr. Sinn kissed me as Dr. Grimm fucked me. I was in pure ecstasy.  My eyes closed and I leaned back into one man as the one under me lifted me off the bed and continued to pull orgasm after orgasm out of me.

I caught the reflection of myself in the mirror as I bounced up and down with Dr. Grimm on the bed. Life was good. It was excellent. This is what I needed. To be serviced by two men at the same time is something I have only done once before and these two… they were far more experienced than the last two. Mr. Sinn continued to kiss me. He had heard me ask Dr. Grimm for a kiss and was quick to comply. His lips, soft as velvet, sweet as wine, drank me in. His tongue danced over mine. My eyes opened and I watched Dr. Grimm as I kissed Mr. Sinn.

Two short hours before I had received a text message from Dr. Grimm. “I told a Dom friend of mine about you. All good things, of course.” I smiled as I read his message. I knew what was coming, and my pussy was soaked at the idea of being cared for by two sadistic Doms.

“Oh yeah? And what plans do you two have for me?” I had asked, teasingly and yet hopeful at the same time.

“The dirtiest” came the reply. “Can you meet us tonight?” My heart skipped a beat. I wanted to see Dr. Grimm again, but I didn’t know his friend. At the same time, I trust Dr. Grimm. Which is odd for me, because I swore off trusting people, especially men. And yet… here I am, driving to a hotel, at the last minute, so that I can indulge in some kinky sex with a man I am quickly falling deeper into lust with, and his friend who I hope is as amazing as Dr. Grimm is.

I arrived at the hotel and sent a quick “Knock, knock” message before actually knocking on the door. Dr. Grimm answered, hot as ever. I almost drooled over his beauty. This man, this Dominant who enjoys playing with me, is so beautiful that it almost hurts to look at him. Why he picked me of all the women at the club, I do not understand. But I am grateful that he chose me.

I looked over at Mr. Sinn, a shy and quiet guy who looked at me and blushed. Ahhh, a newbie Dom. I thought as I grinned up at Dr. Grimm. “Hello, little one” he greeted me. I almost swooned on the spot. He smiled back at me and I melted a little more. “Strip and spin. Show off that body for my friend.” Dr. Grimm’s Dom voice came out and my eyes immediately lowered and I sank into my submissive mode and obeyed. I would love to say that I slowly, delicately and sexily stripped for them, but the truth is my lustful heart could not wait and I obeyed the order like a starved woman eager for cock.

I looked around the room as I slowly, nakedly spun around. The toys were laid out immaculately. They were not only organized by name, but by size. I knew instinctively that this was the work of Dr. Grimm. His OCD habits match mine and to organize his tools in such a way had me smiling up at him again. “Where do you want me first?” I asked him, swallowing the words of admiration in my throat, still unsure of where the lines are emotionally right now.

He pointed to the towel rack in the bathroom. I smiled. It looked extremely sturdy, rare for most bathrooms. I walked over to the bar and was instructed to hold on while they both tied me to it. I shook a little, mostly out of excitement and anticipation, but a little out of pure nervousness too. My heart was racing. Dr. Grimm bound my left wrist to the bar and instructed Mr. Sinn to bind my right. Being the woman I am, I made sure that could escape easily if needed but not so easily that I would slip out. Blame it on the men in my past. Blame it on my mind thinking of all the “what ifs” that could happen. I would love to say it was out of safety that I made sure I could escape, but really, it was born out of fears I have yet to verbalize.

The binding done, they pulled back and admired their work. Mr. Sinn came over and played with my breasts while Dr. Grimm fingered my soaking, wet pussy. “Good girl.” Dr. Grimm breathed in my ear. I leaned into him. He was there for but a moment before he pulled back again and picked up a whip. My eyes widened. My skin was not yet warmed up and I shot him a look of fear and excitement, trying to remember that I was safe and that I can trust him. I turned back to the wall and braced for impact.

The first few strikes were soft and light, perfect for warming up my skin. I sighed happily and leaned into the stokes, as best as I could while I was bound to the bar. Dr. Grimm upped the level a bit and cracked the whip behind my back. He didn’t get me with it but he got a reaction out of me (which I suspect was the goal). My eyes widened and I looked at him with a mixture of fear and disbelief. I knew I could trust him, but at the same time, I knew he was showing off a bit. “Don’t give me that look” he teased as he landed a harder swat across my butt. I gasped and shot him another look trying to pull off a more angry expression. It was ruined by the smile that spread over my face as the fire from the blow opened up over me and I slipped into subspace. I lowered my head and pushed my butt out a bit more, almost begging him to do it again. Mr. Sinn stood on one side of me (off to the left) and Dr. Grimm stood on the other. There were very few moments where whips or floggers were not touching my skin. I loved it.

They had started with short whips, and I think smaller floggers, but I can’t be certain because I kept slipping into and out of subspace. My body felt wonderful and yet painful at the same time. I cried out as a longer whip cracked across my skin, half in ecstasy, half from the shock of the pain. Then the sharp point of a knife floated over my skin and I sucked in my breath and willed myself to hold still. It crawled up the back of my leg and then followed my backbone. I felt my body move with it, unsure as to whether or not it wanted more. I tilted my head and exposed my neck as the blade ran from my left shoulder blade and up to the edge of my ear. Back down he went with the blade following a similar path on the other side. Then it was under my chin and Dr. Grimm took a break and stepped up to check in on me. “Do you like my knife?” He asked, the sadistic Dom voice came out like hot oil dripping with a promise of more. “Yessssss” I breathed in response, almost unable to say more.

He nuzzled my neck and stroked my pussy. “You’re making a mess on the floor” he stated and as I stepped into a puddle I had apparently made. I giggled. “I see that” I responded. Then he pinched my clit and I almost came. “What do little girls do?” he whispered into my ear, not letting up on his assault of my most private parts. “Ask for permission, Sir”. The answer came out garbled a bit as I bit back the orgasm that ferociously built inside of me. I clenched around his fingers and begged to cum. “No.” He responded and I smiled. I knew he would make me wait, I knew that he wanted to torture me a bit more before he allowed me to let go completely. He switched to the cane and continued to mark up my lovely white skin. “Please, Sir, let me cum!” I half demanded, half begged, barely holding on. “Count to five” he responded, knowing that if he made me count for more than a few seconds it would throw me out of the orgasm and yet if he gave it to me right away it wouldn’t be quite as strong as it could have been.

I counted. One. Two. Three. My body shook. I paused and tried to remember to breathe. A cane slapped across my lower buttox. I cried out the next number and when I finally hit five I begged again. “Please! Please, Sir!” The orgasm was in control now. I wasn’t able to hold it back. Dr. Grimm smiled and commanded me to cum, releasing me from trying to hold it in any longer. The bar my wrists were bound to held my weight as I sank and came hard and long. I have no idea how much time passed. I just know that the cane didn’t let up and then suddenly he was there again, fingers deep in my pussy, pumping every bit of the orgasm out of me, and pushing me straight for another one. I didn’t ask for permission this time because it (to me) counted as the same wave. I rolled with it, moaned, and stretched as best as I could, exposing more of my body, asking for more of the pain and the pleasure.

When I was finished I vaguely heard Dr. Grimm order Mr. Sinn to let me out of my binds. I pulled my right wrist out automatically. I didn’t even think about it. Mr. Sinn looked at me in shock. I smiled up at him and told him that a good submissive knows how to get herself loose if she needs to. You never know what can happen during a scene and if the Top goes down for some reason (heart attack, stroke, panic attack, you name it), the sub needs to be able to release herself. There are scarier reasons I do this though. I’ve been beaten, abused, broken before. I refuse to put myself in that position again. Safety first.

That thought darkened my mood a bit but I tried to ignore it. I tried not to let the mood be destroyed. I was safe. I reminded myself, and headed for the bed that Mr. Sinn was guiding me towards. “Why don’t you kiss me?” I randomly asked Dr. Grimm as he organized his toys and arranged them again so that he could reach for what he wanted from the bed. He frowned at me. Before he could answer, Mr. Sinn was kissing me. I kept my eyes open briefly and saw Dr. Grimm’s frown deepen for a moment. Not wanting to see that, I closed my eyes and kissed Mr. Sinn back. He wasn’t very tall, but he is clearly built well. He reminded me a bit of a linebacker on the football teams I keep up with. Strong, muscular and yet there’s this deep underlying attitude of care that surrounds him, similar to that of a giant teddy bear. Not someone you would want to piss off, but definitely someone you can trust with all your secrets. His kisses were soft and light. He didn’t demand more of me than I was willing to give. He paused and pulled back to find my eyes were watching Dr. Grimm again. I hadn’t even realized I was doing that. He smiled and told me that Dr. Grimm has been burned before and that he is scared of commitment, hence the lack of kissing coming from him. My heart melted a little for this man that understood his friend so well and could read my desire to know more. He trusted me with that information and gave it because he cared for his friend. I smiled. It made sense. He could have been talking about me, except that I love kissing.

I laid down on the bed and Mr. Sinn followed me, turning me over on to my stomach and started to massage oil onto the marks they had gifted me. I sighed happily and slipped back into sub space. All too soon they were ready to play again. I could have slept, would have slept, but at the same time, I wanted more fun too.

Ice cold water drilled down my back, and I jumped. I heard Dr. Grimm chuckle and tell me to stay put. “I’m cooling down your skin” he explained and drizzled more over me. I smiled into the covers. Of course you are. I thought and laughed at how sadistic the cold water was. I loved the game. I loved this. I craved more. “Face down, ass up” he instructed and I happily obeyed. A knife stroked over my skin. The tip traced my veins from the top of my back where my shoulders and neck meet, down the spine and over the back of my left leg, then again with my right. I shivered a bit and sank deeper into that wonderful spot called subspace. My mind blank, thinking and feeling nothing but the knife as it traveled over me. This is heaven.  I thought to myself and I arched a little more into the blade. A cane struck my ass and I tried not to jump away from it. I didn’t see it but I knew Dr. Grimm was smiling again. He came around to the other side of the bed and gave me his cock. “Suck” he commanded. Greedily, I did so. I missed the taste of him, the smooth skin around the head. I licked the shaft and carefully paid attention to his balls as well. A cock entered me and I knew Mr. Sinn was fucking me. He felt good. Safe. And if I could have looked up at Dr. Grimm while swallowing he cock, I’m sure I would have found him enjoying the scene as well. I close my eyes and just enjoyed the moment. “She’s got a great mouth, you should come up here and try it” Dr. Grimm said to his friend. “Oh I’m good back here” came the reply, grunted out as Mr. Sinn continued to fuck me. Someone, I’m not entirely sure who, grabbed and kneaded my breasts, pulling on the nipples and massaging them both gently and roughly at the same time. Mr. Sinn massaged my lower back with one hand and gripped my hips with the other. Floggers came back into play and I exhaled pure happiness as my body drank in their attention.

“I want to try anal with you” Dr. Grimm said. I froze. Anal is not my favorite thing. I desperately want to like it, but past experiences with anal are nightmarish memories for me. I could only nod my consent, unwilling to let go of the beauty of the time we were having and a little fascinated with myself for even desiring this. He pulled himself out of my mouth and moved around to my back side. “We go at your comfort level.” He instructed. “You decide how deep I go, how far in you want to let me. We do this at your pace.” He continued. His words melted over me. The level of care, the amount of consideration, it was overwhelming. It took him a bit to get it in because of how tight I am and because I kept pulling away a bit, scared and yet… not. And then it popped the whole way in and I triggered, hard.

I flashed back instantly to my ex husband and the many, many times he would force it in without warning, without lube, without care for my comfort or my feelings. For a moment all I could picture was the pain from my ex and then a second, more horrendous thought hit me. This is what he did to my daughter. The thought destroyed every good thing in the room. Instantly I was crying.

“What just happened?” Mr. Sinn asked Dr. Grimm, worry dripping from his voice. “I’m not sure, I think she just triggered.” Dr. Grimm responded and then sat up and pulled me into him. “Shhh shhh shh, it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe. Talk to me.” He said softly against my neck, trailing kisses as he spoke. I choked on a sob. I knew where I was, but I couldn’t erase the memories, couldn’t control the images flashing through my brain. I shook my head willing the thoughts to leave. I cried harder and fell face forward onto the bed. Dr. Grimm didn’t let me slip too far though, he followed me and ordered Mr. Sinn to bring me water and then made me sip it slowly. I nodded, the only thing I could manage to do, the only way I could express that I was trying to undo what had just happened. I turned and looked at him and he wrapped me in his arms and continued to console me. After a while (a long while) he asked if I was okay. I think he knew better than to ask before that. I think he was watching me the entire time, imagining what I was picturing, knowing this was a soft limit for a reason. “Talk to me” he ordered again. I shook my head. I didn’t want to destroy their mood more than I already had. I didn’t want to ruin this night.

STOP. I ordered myself. You are SAFE. You are CHOOSING this. This is not being forced on you. Your daughter is safe, she’s not even here. Your ex is in jail for the crap he has done and he can never hurt you again. I repeated the mantra to myself over and over. I didn’t realize I was rocking back and forth as I did so until Dr. Grimm grabbed my hands and held me still and kissed my head. “Whatever you’re seeing, let it go.” He whispered into my hair. I closed my eyes and leaned back. Mr. Sinn came over and kissed me again. He clearly didn’t know what to say but he almost read my mind with his sweet kisses. They both just held me and waited. Patient. Kind. I sighed and let go of the pain. I leaned into both of them, thankful for their gentleness and compassion. When I was ready, I asked to continue. I needed to conquer this pain. I needed to prove to myself that I was above the images. That I was in control. That this is MY life and I can choose to do with it as I please. I wanted the sex. I wanted the room back. I wanted to keep going and I needed to ignore the mountain of grief standing just off to the side of my mind. No. I can process you later. Right now, this is for me. I told the thoughts. And then I turned back to Dr. Grimm. He had my cup of water ready and ordered me to sip, not gulp. “We don’t need you to get sick.”

I sighed again and when I was ready, when I had cleared my head enough, I asked again that we continue going. Dr. Grimm frowned. Clearly he thought stopping would be best, but I am the submissive and he respected my wishes here. “Okay, but if you trigger again, we go straight to aftercare and we stop the scene for the night” he said, concern and worry pouring out with his words. Both men exchanged glances over my head. I didn’t look. I knew what they said. They didn’t want to continue if I wasn’t okay, but they didn’t want to stop if I needed to keep going. I handed the water glass back to Mr. Sinn. “I’m ready” I said, “But let’s not do anal for a while.” Dr. Grimm laughed and ruffled my hair. “There’s my good girl” he stated and picked up a flogger. “We’re going to go lightly at first and build you back up.” He said as he fondled it a bit. “Lay back down on the bed.” I obeyed.

Mr. Sinn came back from the sink and shot me a pained look. He didn’t know my story, but he could see that I was still in emotional pain. He looked at Dr. Grimm for guidance. “She’s okay, let’s keep going.”

They flogged me again, mixing in canes and floggers as they went. When I got close to orgasm Dr. Grimm crawled under me and told me to bounce on his cock. I would have laughed at the image but he started to move and holy hell. What he had neglected to tell me was that he was on the swim team at his school and he was apparently very, very good at it. I literally bounced up and down on him on the bed. I relished in the feelings of his cock pumping in and out of me. I turned to Mr. Sinn who had moved behind me again and leaned into him as best as I could. He didn’t try to fuck me in the ass, he didn’t even go near enough to touch it. Instead he just reached around and played with my pussy and breasts and nuzzled my neck while Dr. Grimm moved under me. I sighed happily again, knowing that I was being treated with kid gloves a bit here. I loved it.

A powerful orgasm started deep in my belly and I looked down at Dr. Grimm. “Hand me a flogger” he ordered and I stretched to give it to him. “Look up. I don’t want to accidentally strike your face” he said and then assaulted my breasts and belly with the flogger. I leaned back again, knowing I could lean as far as I needed to and Mr. Sinn would be there to support me. Dr. Grimm leaned up a bit and bit down on my left nipple. I cried out “Please let me cum!” I begged and he only nodded. I came, fast and hard. Dr. Grimm pinched my clit as he continued to fuck me. I have no idea where Mr. Sinn went but for a moment it was just Dr. Grimm and I, and we exploded together. I had never felt so many powerful emotions at once during sex, especially not casual sex. I could have cried again but I didn’t really want to, scared it would ruin the mood. Concerned for Mr. Sinn, I looked over my shoulders to find him watching us in awe. I was about to ask about his pleasure but he winked at me and I took that as permission to go again, this time laying on Dr. Grimm’s chest as I orgasmed.

The scene ended there. They just held me and snuggled and said sweet nothings into my hair and over my skin. I relished in the affection, like a cat in sunlight, I felt peaceful and sated.

This wasn’t how any of us pictured the evening going, but something changed in that room that night. Something changed in me. My heart moved and I told her to hush because I wasn’t ready for that right now. It scared me. It’s too soon. I cannot. I will not. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep a little, safe between these two strong men who cared for me even through my tears and I wept out of pain from putting up with my ex for so long, for not being able to protect myself, for not knowing just how evil he was… And they held me through it all, reminding me that I was safe, that I was cared for, that I was loved.

I have tried to put this scene into words so many times over the last few weeks, but every time I started I couldn’t. How do you verbalize the level of care it must take to trust someone so soon after so much abuse has been forced on you? How do I write the love and understanding that they both bathed me in, without cheapening it altogether? I hope I have done it justice here. I hope that they know how in debt I feel to them now. I hope they understand how much more I respect them and how grateful I was to be there, with them, even through (especially through) the trigger.

I will not voice the words that come to mind. It is still far too early to say anything quite so strong. But I know it is there and I will let it grow and I hope that they continue to care for me for however long I am offered it.

 

 

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